Most control freaks are shaped by fear. We figure that if we aren't at the helm, then we are in danger. But what if having someone else in charge is a good thing? Why does it have to be a bad thing? What if the person in control at this moment is better at their job than we are? What if the outcome is necessary to change things for the good, long-term?
We spend a lot of time trying to make things go a certain way but what if they aren’t supposed to go that way? The need to control centers around wanting safety, but are we the ones that keep ourselves safe? What if others can keep us safe? In the plane do you want to fly it, or can you let the expert pilot fly it who spent countless hours making sure he did everything right? Do you want to secure your afterlife or do you want God to take care of those details since that’s His domain? Do you want all things to go your way instead of letting hardship make you a better person and allowing other people to learn through trial?
Things aren’t in control, not now, not ever. We think that we are only out of control when we have a panic or anxiety attack, but we’ve never had control. We’ve always merely had influence. Even when we thought we had control we didn’t. We are a tiny person on a huge planet that looks like a tiny speck in a huge solar system, which looks like a tiny spot in a huge universe. And we have control? No way. And yet, here we are, safe and sound. We have never been in charge of gravity. We don’t need to cause it to rain. We don’t make boats float or planes fly. We don’t run the nation or rule the world. And we are ok.
Accidental is ok. Randomness and unplanned events can be fun. Sure, we have to adjust and at first it’s uncomfortable but in the end our bodies and minds can compensate. What if there is a more beautiful reality than what we are currently experiencing? What if there is more joy outside of our box? Before your best friend was your best friend, they were a stranger. Before you lost your first baby tooth it was scary. Before you learned to swim it seemed impossible. But look at you now.
We can spend all of our time trying to control an uncontrollable world, or we can trust that there are forces at work beyond us that are keeping us relatively safe. We can try with all our might to force other people to do things our way or we can accept that other people have good ideas too. Trying to control our life is exhausting. Maybe it’s a good break to take a nap and let other people figure it out.
