In 1 Chron 17:1-12, we read a story about King David and his prophet Nathan. Many of us think that David had a direct line to God in prayer and heard His audible voice, which he probably did periodically, but the majority of God’s communication to King David was through his prophets: Nathan and Gad. This particular conversation was between David and Nathan.
One day David came up to Nathan excited and said (I paraphrase): “Nathan! I have a great idea. I would like to build God a beautiful home. I have a beautiful home here in the palace and I want God to have one even more beautiful than mine. What do you think about that?”
Nathan replied almost immediately (I paraphrase): “Oh, David, that’s a wonderful idea. Absolutely! God is with you, go for it.”
That night God came to Nathan and said (I paraphrase), “Excuse me, Nathan, what do you think you are doing? You are my voice-box to King David. You speak for me. Why did you answer his question about the temple, the way you did? Did you check with me first? No you did not. Let me be clear: You spoke out of turn. Number one, I do not want a house. I never asked you for a house. Human beings keep trying to put me into their paradigms and think that I want what they want. I don’t. I don’t live in a house. I don’t need a house. I don’t really care about a house to be honest. But more importantly, number two, when I do allow a house to be built for me (out of deference to their hearts), it WON’T be David. I don’t want to go into it right now, I’ll explain it to him later, but you were wrong. I will allow his son to build me a house but not David. You need to go back and correct that tomorrow morning.”
Of course Nathan brought that message to David and the rest was history.
But why do you suppose Nathan confirmed what David said without checking with God first?
Could it be that Nathan was so used to being right that he didn’t bother to check in?
Could it be that Nathan couldn’t imagine how King David, wanting to unselfishly build a house for God, could be a bad thing?
Or could it be that Nathan wanted to be the affirming guy, the yes-friend, the one that bonds through agreement? Maybe Nathan was in such an affirming mode that he didn’t bother to check what God was going to say, because quite frankly it didn’t seem like something to get God involved in and it was an obvious opportunity to encourage David.
But he was wrong.
How many times have we had coffee with a friend who is venting about their spouse, unleashing their frustration, calling them every name in the book and we not only nod our head but sometimes add in a few negative traits they forgot. In an effort to bond, we allow it, encourage it and feed it. We want to be the affirming-friend. We want to be the one that they open up to and know that they are going to get support no matter what.
But what if that makes us the bad guys/ladies?
What if our desire to be affirming is actually perpetuating a problem?
We all know people around us who are famous for bad decisions and wonder why none of their friends ever seem to tell them the truth. They are surrounded by yes-men/women who affirm whatever comes out of their mouth.
What if we are those people?
We think we are doing the right thing, but are we? We are told in God’s Word to speak the truth in love.
What if our limited perspective makes it seem right, but if we blow it up to a 30,000 foot view, we recognize that we are doing more harm than good?
What if our affirming of our friends at Starbucks is actually destroying a marital relationship, wrecking a family structure, undermining society and speaking against God’s will?
We are Christians. We don’t get to have our own opinion. We are indwelt with the Holy Spirit. We speak for God.
Have we checked with Him about how He would answer the questions and handle the conversation? Or do we simply want to be the affirming friend regardless?
