Everyone has to walk into stressful situations. It’s a part of life. But what if we have a history of not reacting very well to situations like the one we are facing? What if we need to enter into an environment that is not only stressful, BUT filled with fear for us? Is there anything we can do?
Absolutely there is.
The first thing is to prepare. Knowing that you are heading into a stressful situation already gives you an advantage. It’s one thing to have something scary show up without notice. It’s quite another thing to know it’s coming. In some ways the anticipation feels worse, but that’s only if we don't take advantage of the notice. Once we know the basic facts, we can begin our adjustment process.
Secondly, begin with logic. Logic doesn’t fight emotional reaction very well and if you have a history of panic attacks or anxiety attacks, it works even less. Yet, we begin with a logical assessment of the situation to set our base understanding. We need to ask, ‘what is really going to happen?’ It’s not, ‘what could possibly happen?’ Or, ‘what am I afraid is going to happen?’ But an honest look at what is really going to happen.
Let’s say you are headed into a stressful meeting at work that you’ve been dreading for weeks. Ultimately, what’s going to happen in that meeting is a lot of talking. Yes, it might be tense, it could get heated, big decisions could be made that impact you directly, but at the end of the day- it’s just talking. No one is going to physically harm you. No one is going to take your most precious possessions away. The vast majority of our fears are not just unlikely and improbable, but impossible. We fear things happening that absolutely can’t happen. Just because we feel that they can doesn’t make them possible.
Third, pray. Get someone far more in control involved. Ask for supernatural help. God knows what fear is and He knows what you are going through. You don’t have to go through it alone. Other people may not understand, but I can assure you that God does. Take a moment and pray for divine help.
Fourth, don’t start off tense; relax. I realize that there is nothing more irritating than having someone telling you to relax when you are freaking out, but we aren’t yet at the point of freaking out, we are anticipating freaking out. While we are in our right minds, we need to give ourselves a fighting chance. This means doing what we need to do to calm our minds, relax our bodies and lower the stress in our system. This may be taking a walk, getting there early, stretching, watching a funny movie, talking with friends, etc. What it cannot be is showing up late, harried, stressed out before the event even begins.
Fifth, look at the situation like a game. It may be a game you don’t like playing but view it as a game nevertheless. What I mean is watch how you react and then counter the moves. When you start to tense, recognize it and bring the level down. When you start to get riled up, slow your pace of talking and bring it under control. When someone else starts to get worked up, distance your self emotionally and just watch them like a movie. The key is to see it as a game that you can control and adjust to.
Preparation doesn’t guarantee a perfect outcome, but it sure gives us a head start.
